You Gotta Make the Lips Funny

Ted Lasso is an incessantly quotable evidence. Y'all know it. I know it. We all know information technology.

Apple TV

If yous don't know it, get learn information technology and come back.

Every character has memorable lines, of course, simply let's not kid ourselves — most of the real zingers come from Ted himself.

Apple TV

The man is a walking drove of puns, rhymes, dad jokes, and hostage advice, then here are Ted Lasso'southward best lines from both seasons of Ted Lasso:

1. "Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn't it? If you're comfortable while you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong."

ii. "If that's a joke, I dear it. If not, can't wait to unpack that with you later."

3. "I always figured that tea was merely gonna taste like hot chocolate-brown h2o. And you know what? I was right. Yeah, it's horrible. No, thank you."

four. "Tea is horrible. Absolute garbage h2o. I don't know why you lot exercise that."

v. "If you would accept told me that I'd be drinking tea at iii o'clock every day, about a twelvemonth ago… I would have punched you in the oral cavity."

6. "Be honest with me. Information technology'due south a prank, right? The tea? Like when us tourist folks aren't effectually, y'all know it tastes similar garbage? You lot don't love it. Information technology'south pigeon sweat."

7. On whether or not he believes in ghosts: "I practice. But more than importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves. You know?"

8. "Back where I'1000 from, you try to stop a game in a necktie; well, that might likewise be the first sign of the apocalypse."

9. On famous soccer players: "You got Ronaldo and the fellow who bends information technology like himself."

ten. "We're gonna telephone call this drill 'The Exorcist' 'crusade it'south all well-nigh controlling possession."

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11. "You know what the happiest animate being on Earth is? Information technology's a goldfish. Y'know why? It'south got a 10-2d retentivity. Be a goldfish."

12. "If the internet has taught us anything, it's that sometimes information technology'south easier to speak our minds anonymously."

13. "I'grand non sure what you's smallest unit of measurement is here, but that's about how much headway I fabricated."

xiv. On Rebecca: "She's got some fences, alright, simply you lot just gotta hop over 'em."

xv. Explaining the offside dominion in soccer: "I'm gonna put it the aforementioned fashion the US Supreme Courtroom did back in 1964 when they defined pornography. Information technology ain't easy to explain, just you know it when you encounter it."

16. "I think I literally have a amend understanding of who killed Kennedy than what is offside... It was the mob."

17. "Jamie, I think that you might exist and so sure that y'all're one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out in that location, yous're just i of 11. And if you just figure out someway to turn that 'me' into 'us'...the sky's the limit for y'all."

18. "I come bearing sweet treats to numb the sting of defeat."

19. On Rebecca attending squad branding meetings: "I always feel so bad for the cows, merely you gotta practise information technology; otherwise, they get lost. That was a branding joke. If nosotros were in Kansas right at present, I'd simply be sitting here waiting for you to finish laughing."

20. "For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It'southward most helping these young fellas be the all-time versions of themselves on and off the field."

21. "If I didn't take any confidence, I never would've worn pajamas to my prom and ended up in jail the rest of that night."

22. "You lot two knuckleheads accept dissever our locker room in half. And when it comes to locker rooms, I like 'em but similar my female parent'southward bathing suits. I only wanna meet 'em in one piece, you hear?"

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23. "Here's an idea that'due south gonna help a fiddling or hurt a whole lot. Who needs a drink?"

24. "Yous know how they say that 'youth is wasted on the immature'? Well, I say don't let the wisdom of age exist wasted on you. I just came up with that. I feel pretty good about information technology."

25. On scones: "It's like a muffin, except it sucks all the spit out of your rima oris."

26. "Charabanc Beard'south views on romantic relationships are not too different from his views on cooking steak. Y'all know, you spend any more than five minutes on 1 — information technology loses its season."

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27. "I gotta say, man, sometimes you remind me of my grandma with the channel hopper. You lot just push all the incorrect buttons."

28. "I feel like we roughshod out of a lucky tree, hitting every branch on the way down, concluded up in a pool full of cash and Sour Patch Kids."

29. "What I tin tell y'all is that with the exception of the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes, not much lasts forever."

thirty. "I think i of the neatest things about being a coach is the connexion you lot get to make with your players. That'due south a loss that hits me a lot harder and is gonna stay with me a lot longer than anything that happens while playing a game on a patch of grass."

31. "Sounds to me like someone'due south trapped inside life's well-nigh complicated shape: a love triangle. Second place of course is the 'I just walked in on my mother-in-police force irresolute into her swimsuit' dodecahedron."

32. On the Diamond Dogs: "Information technology's but a group of people who care, Roy. Non different folks at a hip-hop concert whose easily are non in the air."

33. On gambling: "Well, as my doctor told me when I got addicted to fettuccine Alfredo, that's a footling rich for my blood."

34. "Guys have underestimated me my entire life. And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. Merely so one day, I was driving my picayune male child to school, and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman, and it was painted on the wall there. Information technology said, 'Exist curious, not judgmental.' I like that."

35. "You lot beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don't wanna hear it. All right?"

36. "Our goal is to go out similar Willie Nelson, on a high."

37. "If y'all were really introverts, y'all would've been serenity equally a church mouse. Unless that church was Westboro Baptist. Those turkeys won't shut up."

38. "Divorce is hard. It doesn't matter if you're the one leaving or if...y'all're the one who got left. It makes folks do crazy things."

39. "I think that if you lot care well-nigh someone and y'all got a little honey in your heart, at that place ain't nothing yous can't become through together."

40. "All right, fellas, yous gotta remember, your body is like twenty-four hours-sometime rice. If it ain't warmed up properly, something real bad could happen."

41. "We all know speed is important. But being able to finish and change directions quickly? Well, that's like Kanye'southward 808s & Heartbreak. It don't get nearly enough credit."

42. "Ice cream'south the all-time. Information technology's kinda like seeing Billy Joel live. Never disappoints."

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43. "If God wanted games to end in a necktie, She wouldn't have invented numbers, all right?"

44. "The idea behind every trick play is to have chaos rain down upon your opponents and stun them. Much like the lava did to those poor folks in Pompeii."

45. On Jamie: "That's a special beau correct there. Got talent for days, works hard, and he's got a jawline like the White Cliffs of Dover. I'm always rootin' for him."

46. "Then I've been hearing this phrase yous got over here that I ain't likewise crazy near. 'It's the promise that kills you.' Y'all know that? I disagree, you lot know? I call back it's the lack of hope that comes and gets you. Run across, I believe in hope. I believe in conventionalities."

Apple TV

47. "Look, we are not playing for a tie. Ain't nobody here gonna kiss their sister...which is an American phrase that I'1000 now realizing does not be hither, and that's skilful, 'cause it's creepy, and I detest information technology myself; I don't know why I said information technology."

48. "This is a distressing moment right hither. For all of us. And in that location ain't nothing I can say, continuing in front of you right now, that tin take that away. But please do me this favor, will you lot? Lift your heads upwards and expect around this locker room. Yes? Wait at everybody else in hither. And I want y'all to be grateful that y'all're going through this deplorable moment with all these other folks. Because I hope y'all, in that location is something worse out at that place than being pitiful, and that is existence alone and being sad. Ain't nobody in this room alone. Let'southward be sad now. Let's be lamentable together. And then we tin can be a gosh-darn goldfish. Onward. Frontward."

49. "There's 2 buttons I never similar to hit, alright? And that's 'panic' and 'snooze.'"

50. "It'south funny to think about the things in your life that can brand you cry simply knowing that they existed, can then become the same thing that make you weep knowing that they're now gone."

Apple tree TV

51. "I haven't seen someone that disappointed to run into me since I wore a scarlet baseball game cap to a Planned Parenthood fundraiser."

52. "I shouldn't bring an umbrella to a begin."

53. "Hey, yous two are like Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner, you know? Or, uh, Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow. Or Frank and... Actually, you know what? I'k starting to realize that Ol' Blue Eyes might've skewed mercurial."

54. "At that place's a bunch of crazy stuff on Twitter. Heck, someone made an account for my mustache."

55. "I've never met someone who doesn't swallow carbohydrate. Only heard about 'em, and they all live in this godless place chosen Santa Monica."

56. "Doing the right matter is never the wrong affair."

57. On Roy'southward excessive swearing: "It'south kinda similar all the nipples in that pic Showgirls. Halfway through, y'all don't even notice. You simply kinda go sucked into the narrative."

58. "Yous are more mysterious than David Blaine reading a Sue Grafton novel at Area 51."

59. "Boy, I beloved meeting people's moms. Information technology's like reading an pedagogy transmission as to why they're nuts."

60. "You should do a TED Talk, 'cause right at present you're getting a whole heap of 'Ted listen.'"

61. "Similar I always say, sometimes the best stew is the ane y'all leave sitting on the stove overnight 'crusade you barbarous asleep watching Citizen Kane after too many beers."

62. On England's healthcare organization: "You're telling me I could shatter every bone in my trunk, someone could only driblet me off in front of any old hospital, dumped into a garbage tin or something, and y'all patch me up, and I don't have to pay jack squat? I tell you, I love this country."

Apple tree TV

63. "I like my water like Kyrie Irving likes his Earth. Flat."

64. On limbo: "Great political party game, horrible relationship status."

65. And finally, "You lot say impossible, but all I hear is 'I'1000 possible.'"

Practise you have any favorite Ted quotes of your own? Comment below; I appreciate you!

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Source: https://news.yahoo.com/65-ted-lasso-quotes-silly-051602033.html

You Gotta Make the Lips Funny

Ted Lasso is an incessantly quotable evidence. Y'all know it. I know it. We all know information technology.

Every character has memorable lines, of course, simply let's not kid ourselves — most of the real zingers come from Ted himself.

The man is a walking drove of puns, rhymes, dad jokes, and hostage advice, then here are Ted Lasso'southward best lines from both seasons of Ted Lasso:

1. "Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn't it? If you're comfortable while you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong."

ii. "If that's a joke, I dear it. If not, can't wait to unpack that with you later."

3. "I always figured that tea was merely gonna taste like hot chocolate-brown h2o. And you know what? I was right. Yeah, it's horrible. No, thank you."

four. "Tea is horrible. Absolute garbage h2o. I don't know why you lot exercise that."

v. "If you would accept told me that I'd be drinking tea at iii o'clock every day, about a twelvemonth ago… I would have punched you in the oral cavity."

6. "Be honest with me. Information technology'due south a prank, right? The tea? Like when us tourist folks aren't effectually, y'all know it tastes similar garbage? You lot don't love it. Information technology'south pigeon sweat."

7. On whether or not he believes in ghosts: "I practice. But more than importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves. You know?"

8. "Back where I'1000 from, you try to stop a game in a necktie; well, that might likewise be the first sign of the apocalypse."

9. On famous soccer players: "You got Ronaldo and the fellow who bends information technology like himself."

ten. "We're gonna telephone call this drill 'The Exorcist' 'crusade it'south all well-nigh controlling possession."

11. "You know what the happiest animate being on Earth is? Information technology's a goldfish. Y'know why? It'south got a 10-2d retentivity. Be a goldfish."

12. "If the internet has taught us anything, it's that sometimes information technology'south easier to speak our minds anonymously."

13. "I'grand non sure what you's smallest unit of measurement is here, but that's about how much headway I fabricated."

xiv. On Rebecca: "She's got some fences, alright, simply you lot just gotta hop over 'em."

xv. Explaining the offside dominion in soccer: "I'm gonna put it the aforementioned fashion the US Supreme Courtroom did back in 1964 when they defined pornography. Information technology ain't easy to explain, just you know it when you encounter it."

16. "I think I literally have a amend understanding of who killed Kennedy than what is offside... It was the mob."

17. "Jamie, I think that you might exist and so sure that y'all're one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out in that location, yous're just i of 11. And if you just figure out someway to turn that 'me' into 'us'...the sky's the limit for y'all."

18. "I come bearing sweet treats to numb the sting of defeat."

19. On Rebecca attending squad branding meetings: "I always feel so bad for the cows, merely you gotta practise information technology; otherwise, they get lost. That was a branding joke. If nosotros were in Kansas right at present, I'd simply be sitting here waiting for you to finish laughing."

20. "For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It'southward most helping these young fellas be the all-time versions of themselves on and off the field."

21. "If I didn't take any confidence, I never would've worn pajamas to my prom and ended up in jail the rest of that night."

22. "You lot two knuckleheads accept dissever our locker room in half. And when it comes to locker rooms, I like 'em but similar my female parent'southward bathing suits. I only wanna meet 'em in one piece, you hear?"

23. "Here's an idea that'due south gonna help a fiddling or hurt a whole lot. Who needs a drink?"

24. "Yous know how they say that 'youth is wasted on the immature'? Well, I say don't let the wisdom of age exist wasted on you. I just came up with that. I feel pretty good about information technology."

25. On scones: "It's like a muffin, except it sucks all the spit out of your rima oris."

26. "Charabanc Beard'south views on romantic relationships are not too different from his views on cooking steak. Y'all know, you spend any more than five minutes on 1 — information technology loses its season."

27. "I gotta say, man, sometimes you remind me of my grandma with the channel hopper. You lot just push all the incorrect buttons."

28. "I feel like we roughshod out of a lucky tree, hitting every branch on the way down, concluded up in a pool full of cash and Sour Patch Kids."

29. "What I tin tell y'all is that with the exception of the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes, not much lasts forever."

thirty. "I think i of the neatest things about being a coach is the connexion you lot get to make with your players. That'due south a loss that hits me a lot harder and is gonna stay with me a lot longer than anything that happens while playing a game on a patch of grass."

31. "Sounds to me like someone'due south trapped inside life's well-nigh complicated shape: a love triangle. Second place of course is the 'I just walked in on my mother-in-police force irresolute into her swimsuit' dodecahedron."

32. On the Diamond Dogs: "Information technology's but a group of people who care, Roy. Non different folks at a hip-hop concert whose easily are non in the air."

33. On gambling: "Well, as my doctor told me when I got addicted to fettuccine Alfredo, that's a footling rich for my blood."

35. "You lot beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don't wanna hear it. All right?"

36. "Our goal is to go out similar Willie Nelson, on a high."

37. "If y'all were really introverts, y'all would've been serenity equally a church mouse. Unless that church was Westboro Baptist. Those turkeys won't shut up."

38. "Divorce is hard. It doesn't matter if you're the one leaving or if...y'all're the one who got left. It makes folks do crazy things."

39. "I think that if you lot care well-nigh someone and y'all got a little honey in your heart, at that place ain't nothing yous can't become through together."

40. "All right, fellas, yous gotta remember, your body is like twenty-four hours-sometime rice. If it ain't warmed up properly, something real bad could happen."

41. "We all know speed is important. But being able to finish and change directions quickly? Well, that's like Kanye'southward 808s & Heartbreak. It don't get nearly enough credit."

42. "Ice cream'south the all-time. Information technology's kinda like seeing Billy Joel live. Never disappoints."

43. "If God wanted games to end in a necktie, She wouldn't have invented numbers, all right?"

44. "The idea behind every trick play is to have chaos rain down upon your opponents and stun them. Much like the lava did to those poor folks in Pompeii."

45. On Jamie: "That's a special beau correct there. Got talent for days, works hard, and he's got a jawline like the White Cliffs of Dover. I'm always rootin' for him."

46. "Then I've been hearing this phrase yous got over here that I ain't likewise crazy near. 'It's the promise that kills you.' Y'all know that? I disagree, you lot know? I call back it's the lack of hope that comes and gets you. Run across, I believe in hope. I believe in conventionalities."

47. "Look, we are not playing for a tie. Ain't nobody here gonna kiss their sister...which is an American phrase that I'1000 now realizing does not be hither, and that's skilful, 'cause it's creepy, and I detest information technology myself; I don't know why I said information technology."

49. "There's 2 buttons I never similar to hit, alright? And that's 'panic' and 'snooze.'"

50. "It'south funny to think about the things in your life that can brand you cry simply knowing that they existed, can then become the same thing that make you weep knowing that they're now gone."

51. "I haven't seen someone that disappointed to run into me since I wore a scarlet baseball game cap to a Planned Parenthood fundraiser."

52. "I shouldn't bring an umbrella to a begin."

53. "Hey, yous two are like Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner, you know? Or, uh, Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow. Or Frank and... Actually, you know what? I'k starting to realize that Ol' Blue Eyes might've skewed mercurial."

54. "At that place's a bunch of crazy stuff on Twitter. Heck, someone made an account for my mustache."

55. "I've never met someone who doesn't swallow carbohydrate. Only heard about 'em, and they all live in this godless place chosen Santa Monica."

56. "Doing the right matter is never the wrong affair."

57. On Roy'southward excessive swearing: "It'south kinda similar all the nipples in that pic Showgirls. Halfway through, y'all don't even notice. You simply kinda go sucked into the narrative."

58. "Yous are more mysterious than David Blaine reading a Sue Grafton novel at Area 51."

59. "Boy, I beloved meeting people's moms. Information technology's like reading an pedagogy transmission as to why they're nuts."

60. "You should do a TED Talk, 'cause right at present you're getting a whole heap of 'Ted listen.'"

61. "Similar I always say, sometimes the best stew is the ane y'all leave sitting on the stove overnight 'crusade you barbarous asleep watching Citizen Kane after too many beers."

62. On England's healthcare organization: "You're telling me I could shatter every bone in my trunk, someone could only driblet me off in front of any old hospital, dumped into a garbage tin or something, and y'all patch me up, and I don't have to pay jack squat? I tell you, I love this country."

63. "I like my water like Kyrie Irving likes his Earth. Flat."

64. On limbo: "Great political party game, horrible relationship status."

65. And finally, "You lot say impossible, but all I hear is 'I'1000 possible.'"

Practise you have any favorite Ted quotes of your own? Comment below; I appreciate you!

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